[There had been a time when that had been all the justification Kylo needed. The memory of his uncle standing over him, everything bathed in the lurid green light of a failed execution. The reflected imagery of Luke's vision, the certainty of the future horror stretched out before them.
But with Snoke a proven liar and so much of what he'd done in service to him built on a belief he no longer holds, there's little comfort left to be found in the reminder that he was betrayed first.
He'd been used.
He still hasn't confronted the shame of that realisation— only the fury it's packaged in— but something of it slips past his defenses as he reads and re-reads Apollo's reply, recognising the generosity of the excuse he's offering. Loathing it. If he were alone, he'd be on his feet by now with his weapon in hand, tearing whatever was closest enough to shreds.
But he isn't alone. Ronan lies beside him, the steady rhythm of his breathing waiting to guide Kylo's pounding heart back to stability. He's warm. And if Kylo chooses, he can draw Ronan's arms around his body and surround himself in the evidence of all the things he is that neither Snoke or Luke or anyone else could see.
He's wrapped in Ronan's arms with his back pressed up against Ronan's chest by the time he responds:]
And they paid for their failure. You could say that they made their own fates. When they decided mine.
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But with Snoke a proven liar and so much of what he'd done in service to him built on a belief he no longer holds, there's little comfort left to be found in the reminder that he was betrayed first.
He'd been used.
He still hasn't confronted the shame of that realisation— only the fury it's packaged in— but something of it slips past his defenses as he reads and re-reads Apollo's reply, recognising the generosity of the excuse he's offering. Loathing it. If he were alone, he'd be on his feet by now with his weapon in hand, tearing whatever was closest enough to shreds.
But he isn't alone. Ronan lies beside him, the steady rhythm of his breathing waiting to guide Kylo's pounding heart back to stability. He's warm. And if Kylo chooses, he can draw Ronan's arms around his body and surround himself in the evidence of all the things he is that neither Snoke or Luke or anyone else could see.
He's wrapped in Ronan's arms with his back pressed up against Ronan's chest by the time he responds:]
And they paid for their failure.
You could say that they made their own fates. When they decided mine.