This 'fight computer' you say he has isn't the factor though, is it. As you said, he's always had that knowledge. He's always known how. The knowledge isn't the threat.
[Thinking back over Apollo's story, and specifically this daughter of theirs who apparently possesses dangerous telepathic ability, Kylo wonders if perhaps the answer to the mystery lies there... but, for once, he's able to recognise that this is not the kind of puzzle he should attempt to piece together simply for the satisfaction of solving it and indulging his voracious curiosity. Instead, he offers a suggestion, carefully presented with a reminder of the secrets he has shared tonight:]
My family didn't fear my power in itself. They were afraid I would lose control or choose to use it to destroy them. And while you may be right to decide his choice to leave you demonstrates a loss of love. I think you know that severing those bonds isn't so easily accomplished. I think you know he left to protect you. And I think you hate the thought that he would take that choice from you so fiercely that you would rather believe yourself to blame.
[Aaaaall of which he was typing before seeing that last portion of the message. Finally reading the question, he stops short. Listens, for a moment, to the sound of Ronan breathing behind him, feeling his chest rise and fall. Ronan wouldn't want to live abandoned, he knows that much— and he should know that Kylo couldn't bear it, either. But he can't say he knows that Ronan wouldn't sacrifice himself. He's studied Ronan's god. He's shared in his dreaming. He knows how much of Ronan is built around the idea of sacrifice so that others can live.]
You'd have to ask him. He's far more giving than I am. He might decide to sacrifice himself for me against my wishes, if he believed it would be better for me to exist without what we are together than to be destroyed.
no subject
[Thinking back over Apollo's story, and specifically this daughter of theirs who apparently possesses dangerous telepathic ability, Kylo wonders if perhaps the answer to the mystery lies there... but, for once, he's able to recognise that this is not the kind of puzzle he should attempt to piece together simply for the satisfaction of solving it and indulging his voracious curiosity. Instead, he offers a suggestion, carefully presented with a reminder of the secrets he has shared tonight:]
My family didn't fear my power in itself. They were afraid I would lose control or choose to use it to destroy them. And while you may be right to decide his choice to leave you demonstrates a loss of love. I think you know that severing those bonds isn't so easily accomplished. I think you know he left to protect you. And I think you hate the thought that he would take that choice from you so fiercely that you would rather believe yourself to blame.
[Aaaaall of which he was typing before seeing that last portion of the message. Finally reading the question, he stops short. Listens, for a moment, to the sound of Ronan breathing behind him, feeling his chest rise and fall.
Ronan wouldn't want to live abandoned, he knows that much— and he should know that Kylo couldn't bear it, either.
But he can't say he knows that Ronan wouldn't sacrifice himself. He's studied Ronan's god. He's shared in his dreaming. He knows how much of Ronan is built around the idea of sacrifice so that others can live.]
You'd have to ask him. He's far more giving than I am. He might decide to sacrifice himself for me against my wishes, if he believed it would be better for me to exist without what we are together than to be destroyed.