[IC CONTACT]

[photophobic]

You should know where to find me.
But if you leave a message here, I will see it.

Comments

[photophobic]

what does it matter.

[ Oh.
Of course. ]

I'm feeling no more inclined to murder than usual.

[bespin]

[ Well, at least he's talking. ]

That's a start.

It matters because they're your family. I haven't had any of that to speak of for a long time, but I imagine it's not easy losing it all at once.

[photophobic]

I lost my family all at once long before I came here.

What is it you want? My suffering?

[bespin]

I care about Han, and I care about Leia. That means I care about you too, whether you're open to it or not.

If you are suffering, I want to help.
If you're angry, I want to help.
If all you want is to be left alone, I'll walk away until you change your mind.

What I want is to be there for you if you need someone to be.

[photophobic]

What does that even mean, 'being there' for me.
Explain it. What does it mean.
What is it you believe you or anyone else could do to help.

Tell me what it is you want me to need from you.

[bespin]

Sometimes it's literal. Being physically there with you, over a drink or a chat, or whatever you need.
Sometimes it's a sentiment only, knowing that you're not here alone, that there are still those of us who'd want to look out for you.

Maybe I'm not well enough equipped for this. Maybe I ought to leave this to your uncle.
I don't want you to need anything. I just want you to know I've got your back.

[photophobic]

[ He stares at the message for a long time, because try as he might, he just can't comprehend it.
He doesn't understand how anyone could think that the twisting burn in his chest can be soothed by having more people around it. He doesn't understand how anyone could think that the hole of loss can be filled in with anything other than precisely what has been cut out. On a fundamental level he simply does not understand the mechanics of comfort.

And he certainly doesn't understand why anyone would want to even try offering it to him.

So of course, he seizes on the one part he knows how to respond to. ]

The last thing I need is Luke Skywalker.

[bespin]

[ There's obviously some history there between Luke and Kylo that Lando's missing. Once again, he's operating without all the information. Not the best way to run, but he's managed it before. ]

Fair enough.
Why don't you try telling me what you do need, and if it's something I can provide, I will.

[photophobic]

If I knew what I needed, I wouldn't be waiting for someone to provide it for me.

[bespin]

That's good.

Well, not good. [ He's been saying that a lot lately. ] But it's a start.

[photophobic]

So there is something I am supposed to say.

[bespin]

No, I suppose there isn't.
I'll let you go. Just know you can call me if you change your mind, and think of something you need.