[IC CONTACT]

[photophobic]

You should know where to find me.
But if you leave a message here, I will see it.

Comments

[photophobic]

[Kylo reads the message through more than once, trying to work out what it is about it that has him so irritable. It isn't Ezra's defense of Kanan— as misguided as Kylo believes it to be, he can understand that. It isn't even Ezra's continued choice to call himself a Jedi despite all accumulating evidence to the contrary.

And then he realises... it's all of it. The framing of it, the way Ezra mistakes Jedi philosophy, Sith philosophy, for inherent truths about the Force. The way he himself had.]

Fall into what. From what. You call yourself a Jedi. Then you say you reject their methods, or that they would have rejected yours. But you still define yourself by their standards. You use their words. Their concepts.

What if you had never been taught it was possible to fall. If you had never been taught to fear the possibility of disqualifying yourself. If it had never even been suggested everything belongs to either the Light or Dark side of the Force, that your choices align with one or the other.
What if you had never been told any of it.

[merging]

let's not talk about the force then. the sith the jedi any of it

because honestly? we both know we're a lot more than that

if hera didn't find me, i'd be a pirate or a smuggler or dead. i thought about leaving the rebellion constantly, even ran away a few times. and i definitely still have some issues with how the larger rebel alliance is managed

but the reason i don't use the dark side is the same reason i chose not to follow hondo ohnaka into a life of piracy

it's just not me.

and i'm not a rebel because mon mothma's a rebel, i'm not a jedi because yoda's a jedi

who i am is because of my family. my family of jedi, rebels, lasats, mandalorians, clones, droids, even ex-jedi and ex-imperials. they matter more to me than any order or any alliance or any republic

everything i've been taught comes from them, and from my parents as well. i want to be the type of person who makes them proud. and i want to be proud of myself too.

[photophobic]

You realise you've defined yourself entirely by your preferential attachments to individual people.

[You know, like... Jedi are expressly forbidden to. Does he need to say it? Ezra. Come on. If it doesn't walk like a star wars equivalent of a duck or talk like a star wars equivalent of a duck, how can you justify calling it the star wars equivalent of a duck?]

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Duck i think about canon ducks a lot

[merging]

a jedi can have attachments
as long as you're able to let go
i did