[IC CONTACT]

[photophobic]

You should know where to find me.
But if you leave a message here, I will see it.

Comments

[mofi]

bcuz
we havent talked
and i havent
been around alot

[photophobic]

[so... the answer is, all the things Ronan believes prove that Murphy hates him. Kylo rubs his eyes and drags himself to sit up with his back to the headboard— this feels like it might be a delicate operation. Definitely one he feels poorly equipped for.]
But those are all decisions you made. Ronan never asked you to leave. You're still welcome here.

[mofi]

[ Murphy knows he's the one who's left. He's the one who has made a point to avoid Ronan. It's better this way, the nagging voice in his head says. It's better that you push away before they do.

Somehow, Murphy thinks, it will hurt less. Even though he's hurting now. ]

i no
but dos he hate me
for it
i dont want to move out

[photophobic]

[Being fairly certain Ronan wouldn't be able to find it in himself to hate Murphy if he stabbed him to death isn't really the point, is it? Kylo struggles to believe it himself, and he's a mind-reader.]

He doesn't hate you. For being angry with him or leaving. He blames himself.

[mofi]

[ There's a delay in response. Murphy's trying to put his feelings into words. Acting on them is a lot easier than talking about them. ]

is he sorry
should i say sorry
i dont no what to do

[photophobic]

[yeah, that's fine, Kylo definitely needs a little time to dampen his own internal panic when confronted with this particular topic.]

I know he wishes he hadn't failed to keep his promise to you. He hasn't said anything about it. But it pains him. Thinking about what happened. Making you feel safe was important to him.

[...there's the easy part answered. It's a little while later the rest arrives:]

What would you apologise for? He doesn't believe you've done anything wrong.

[mofi]

for fuckn up
idk maybe i coulda done somthn [ Murphy is used to be blamed for things that are out of his control. It's ironic that Murphy is upset with Ronan for the same thing. Murphy is oblivious to his own hypocrisy. ]

i feel like
i fukd things up
with ronan and me

[photophobic]

[This is... so far outside of his comfort zone.]

Perhaps it doesn't matter what could have been done differently. The mistakes of the past can't be changed. But you control what you choose now.

If you still want to be here, be here. If you want to talk to Ronan, talk to him. I think he'd be glad. For the proof that you don't hate him for his mistakes.

[mofi]

[ This is sure as hell out of his realm of comfort. ]

i do
i just dont no what to say
i did hate him
i think [ He's seventeen, there's not room for dislike. Directly to hate. ]

[photophobic]

Do you hate him now.

[mofi]

no
i dont
thats y im textn u
idk what to say

[photophobic]

Are you asking me to tell you what I think you should say, or what I think Ronan would want to hear?

[mofi]

askn what u think
i should say
i dont want to say smthn dumb

[photophobic]

I think you should tell him the truth.
Tell him you want to stay. Tell him you don't want your anger to have ruined your friendship.

If that is the truth.

[mofi]

like
n person
or like this?

[photophobic]

The delivery isn't the message. Perhaps you could open the dialogue over text and suggest you meet to discuss it.

[mofi]

open dialogue
whats that mean?
but yeah ill text him

[photophobic]

It just means to start the conversation. To set the topic and let him know what it is you want to talk about. That way he knows something of what to expect.

People are more likely to be hostile and respond defensively when they assume an attack is imminent.

[mofi]

whats a good way
to start a conversation
w/o sounding like im gonna fight someone

[photophobic]

I imagine almost anyone on this planet would tell you not to listen to my advice on that subject.

But in this case? Perhaps just say it: Do you have time to talk with me about staying here.

[mofi]

idc what almost anyone says about u
theyre all fkn dumb

and alright
thnx for helpn
srry for annoyn u

[photophobic]

[...oh, oh no, he's...
...that was... really nice to read??]

You're not annoying me. And you are welcome.

Should I expect you at breakfast? I was considering making 'waffles'.

[mofi]

[ He likes you okay, Kylo. He is your Murphy beb. Handle with care. ]

whats a waffle?
yah ill come for bfast

[photophobic]

I think they're similar to pancakes.
Have you had pancakes.

[mofi]

that looks like slices of bread
i had a pancake b4