photophobic | [IC CONTACT]

[He gives her the space to work it out, not replying until there's something to reply to that proves she's grasped something of what he means.]

You focus. On what's relevant to what you want to accomplish. That's all it is. You've been doing it with all the information given to you by your senses since you were born. Now, you have to apply it to this, too. Everything that lies beyond the boundary of your body.

[ Jess realizes then that she really had been hoping for something simple. A quick fix. A way to box this ability up and let it out when required. As though the Force was something that could be boxed up at all.

She's going to have to work at this.

Her stomach gives an unpleasant little flutter.

She's going to have to work at this, if she has a future to do so.

Doctor Strange had said they would find a way. Where there's life, there's hope, and where there's hope, there's Light. That would be the first thing for her to focus on. Finding the Light. ]

I'm guessing this is one of those 'easier said than done' things.

[ Right. Focusing. ]

What happens if I can't? If I lose control again?

[ The again, she didn't mean to add. ]

What happens if you lose concentration behind the controls of a starfighter.

Ok. Point taken.

So

Do you have any... tips? [ That seems like such a stupid question. ] Any ways to practice keeping your shit together.

I thought we agreed you wouldn't try further jokes.

I wasn't joking.

Probably I should have been.

[ She's talking to Kylo Ren. She's having a conversation with him, with one of the people responsible for the Hosnian system, responsible for murdering her friends in the Resistance, responsible for the death of Luke Skywalker. She's having a conversation with him about how to live with a power he doesn't do anything but abuse. ]

I shouldn't have done this.

Have you ever lost your temper. Said something in anger. Ripped out a faulty circuit.

There isn't any easy fix. You will fail. You will lose control. No matter how many tricks or tips I give you, none of them will prevent you from failing. There's no difference between what you are now and what you were before. Only how far you can reach. The size of the blast radius.

[ Well that's... terrifying. Thanks for that, Kylo. She's never thought of herself as dangerous before. ]

I'm not going to hurt anyone. I won't.

I didn't say you would intend to.

I won't!

[ The bolt on the worktable skitters loudly away from her and drops off the end of the table onto the floor.

She shivers, stays silent long enough that she thinks Kylo may have gone back to bed. ]

A Jedi wouldn't.

[Did.... did you really just try to get the last word by waiting for Kylo Ren to go to sleep?

As if he would let that fly. Especially when those words turned right back on their sender take on the particular ominous chill of a secret left unspoken. Or the kind of warning that only makes sense on the other side of disaster.]

No. A Jedi wouldn't.

[ N....O.....

And now Jess is well and truly scared. She's no Jedi. So what does that make her? She can't just ignore this. It's not going away. If she pretends it's not there she really could end up hurting someone.

But she's no Jedi. She's not Luke Skywalker. She's just a decent pilot with magnificent engineering skills. ]

What's the point of trying to scare me? I asked you for help.

[ And there it is again: she asked him for help, like a traitor. ]

Is that what you think I'm doing. At the End of everything. When I could be spending my time doing anything else. When I could be sleeping.

You're trying to scare yourself.
Why else would you come to the monster.

Because I

[ Because she was already scared. Because she's nothing but scared right now, but she still had one thing she could try to control.

She closes her eyes and does what she should have done half a conversation ago. ]

Because I'm an idiot.

[ She disconnects. ]

[IC CONTACT]

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