[IC CONTACT]

[photophobic]

You should know where to find me.
But if you leave a message here, I will see it.

Comments

[photophobic]

[Now, Kylo's just confused.]

Then why do you want to know.

[timestones]

You don't think how you feel about the part you both played in keeping the interconnected universes together is worth giving some real time to?

[Stephen's footsteps pause again in the background of the feed.]

Personally? I think that's valuable. I'm not the one who needs to know, not here and now, and maybe not ever. But if you ever wanted it--someone to hear it, to hear you--then I'd like to make the offer to listen sometime. Sincerely.

[photophobic]

[The pause that follows is far less sharp and accusatory— space for Kylo to burn through everything he's learned about Stephen Strange in an attempt to make sense of the offer, rather than anything designed for Stephen's use.

What possible use could the magician have for Kylo's feelings?]

I don't think you'd find my secrets all that entertaining.

[timestones]

It’s not about being entertained.

[photophobic]

Or educational.

[timestones]

Now that it could be, actually. Which in this case is more important, if you ask me.

[photophobic]

And what might you be trying to learn.

[timestones]

Andddd we're back to how it's not for me.

[photophobic]

[Rapidly losing patience with what he can only assume is a game, Kylo winds tighter and tighter into defensive irritation. Particularly as Stephen's prodding at a very old and yet very fresh wound...]

I'm not looking for any more teachers.

[timestones]

Please. I'm not offering to teach you.

What I'm offering is an ear, an impartial one at that.

There's no agenda, no bar for you to hit or clear, nothing to prove. Just an open offer to listen if you want it. And if you don't right now? That's just fine too, because I think you have some things you need to say. At some point.

[photophobic]

How do you feel about it. The outcome. What you did or didn't do. Or am I the only one expected to give up my secrets?

[timestones]

Not necessarily.

You don't... get this a lot, do you? Get asked how you're doing or how you're feeling just because someone is concerned about you for you. I'm not asking you to answer that, secrets for free and all. I get it.

[There's a pause, then a slight metallic creaking and the sound of wind in the feed, probably a window being opened. In the pause in Stephen speaking, it almost sounds like there's an ocean nearby.]

Honestly, it's hard to process what I feel about the outcome as it is. Seeing so many, the mind sort of breaks down to make holding the information possible. I mean, I have reactions to seeing them, mostly panic and a sense of urgency. But even though I know conceptually this was one of the better outcomes, there was a handful of ways it could have gone that wouldn't have resulted in total annihilation. We had options, that isn't always the case.

But because there were options, I can't really measure any sense of relief against another, or definitively say I'd have a preference for this outcome over another. And every result had sacrifices. There always is, it's just a question of what they were.

By the time this series of events was playing out, I already knew what I would be doing, what I was going to give up. And I knew what a lot of other people gave up too--different choices had different results. Put simply, it sure doesn't feel great, but it doesn't feel as bad as it could.

And we're still here to feel, aren't we? So for that alone, I'm grateful, just not content or jubilant. It's complicated and contradictory, like so many things are.

[photophobic]

[But you have no reason to be concerned for me rather than about me, he doesn't snap back irritably in the space he allows Stephen to fill with... he isn't sure. It isn't outright deflection? But it is all information he feels fairly certain is just... obvious. There's very little vulnerability opened up for him to jab at in all this.

But...]

It's important to you. Isn't it. Maintaining this... detachment of yours. This distance.

[timestones]

Not a singular sense. What, you think I can't multitask?

[Now That's What I Call Deflection Vol. 201]

[photophobic]

[Hello.]

No. I think you need to.

[timestones]

To maintain the detachment you think is important to me?

[photophobic]

[Does Kylo sound just a little more... satisfied? Confident?]

Well. I am just a mindreader. Which is like being an observer, isn't it? But more focused. More... intimate. Personal.

[timestones]

So how does that work? How do you map a mind? Is it in coherent sentences? In images? Memories? Is it through feelings? In a moment, or stretch out? How do you just read minds?

[photophobic]

Do you think in coherent sentences?

[timestones]

If you can do that across a device, why don't you give it a shot now and find out?

[photophobic]

If I could exert my power over the Network my enemies really would be in trouble, wouldn't they.

[timestones]

And is that what you think I am? Your enemy?

[photophobic]

I'm suggesting the Network might be a lot quieter, if I had the ability to use it as a conduit for my will.

Unless I am far more tolerant than they expect.

[timestones]

Probably best for everyone that isn't the case after all. You wouldn't just have to deal with what's put out on the network, but all the additional brain-noise.

[photophobic]

Mm. I would have to deal with it. [He... can't resist.] Wouldn't I.
But perhaps it's not so different from being an observer, as you are. Do you see all the outcome-noise? Or do you have to look for it.