[IC CONTACT]

[photophobic]

You should know where to find me.
But if you leave a message here, I will see it.

Comments

[photophobic]

[Well would you look at that, Kylo Ren found faith. Or, he doesn't know how to do anything but spend every last piece of himself on an inherently futile endeavour when he can't accept the alternative.]

You asked me if I would accept it. If I could deal. I gave you my answer. We can debate the nature of the infinite some time when you aren't blaming me for Ronan's decision to value the lives of strangers over a fraction of the life he promised to me.

He bought ten lives with two seconds of his existence.

[And Kylo hasn't forgiven him for it.]

1/2

[pillz]

[:(a]

2/2

[pillz]

really

[photophobic]

Did he lose less of himself while I was asleep at the wheel than you imagined?

[pillz]

[the silence lasts a little while, which might mean-- anything.]

if it makes you feel better, you still fucked up.

[photophobic]

I'll be sure to remember not to let him out of my sight next time we decide to search for you in a timeless storm at the end of the world.

[Oh, he's going to.]

Even for a second.

[pillz]

[to kylo ren's credit, that hadn't been an option. the sand had been disorienting, to say the least.]

where you fucked up, asslord, was leaving the meadows at all.
when you have something like that,y ou dont roll the fuckin dice with it
you dont let soembody believe his best fuckin option is a couple of expendable moments without you
or without him
or to go into a storm to face a power that got him killed last time
you dont waste a second, and you dont fuck with danger that might make it the last
you screwed up, ren. and maybe you're lucky you both around to catfight about it like old queens and try again, but it doesn't change the fact you did.

[photophobic]

I know exactly what I did.

You haven't grasped it, have you? What it is, the something that we have. The promise. It isn't to protect him from pain. There is always pain. If he truly wants something. Anything. Even if it's to risk his life. I won't forbid it. I never swore I would spare him from facing danger. Only facing it alone.

[pillz]

yeah.
and you 2 ended up split by a magic storm
he gave away 2 seconds of his life
so i guess you guys sure did
> face that together
boyfriend of the year, congratulations

1/2

[photophobic]

I don't control his choices. Or the weather. He chose to make the decision without me.

2/2

[photophobic]

And now we will face the consequences together.

[pillz]

if u don't see how you fucked up then you dont deserve him

[photophobic]

Then I'm fortunate. Aren't I. That you don't control his choices either.

[pillz]

yeah you are.
congratu fucking lations x2
winner winner

[photophobic]

I'm just curious why you are angry with me because Ronan wasn't willing to accept a world without you in it.

[pillz]

wat the fuck are you talking about ren
i dont need 2 borrow more shit to be pissed off about where u concerned

[photophobic]

Really. Have I treated you so badly?

[pillz]

sure.
i ahve never been so offended in my entire goddamn life

[photophobic]

That sounds like an accomplishment.
And a lie.

But you really are impossible to understand over text.

[pillz]

i fucking told u everything oyu need to know
dont fuck that up again

['or what' is a valid question. really, where did kavinsky even think he could go with this? he's yelling at his own reflection in a twisted mirror.]

[photophobic]

As far as I can see it, you told me that in order to better deserve the one who saw and chose me for what I am, I should treat him entirely differently. That to better keep him, I should forbid him from taking risks, regardless of how strongly he believes them necessary.

Which is a level of confusion and contradiction unusual even for you. Isn't it.

What is this really about. If not your response to discovering evidence that you are cared for.

[pillz]

n
i could've been yellin at lynch but he shit on his phone and left it in teh potty so

i know u 2 goth queens > care about me. lynch feels bad about henrietta & i confuse your dick wit my pederastic charms
classic homo drama
it was still dumb af
i was late

[photophobic]

Ronan is apparently far wiser than I am. Or less interested in uncovering your motives.

I don't regret it. Any of what I did with what I had.

Do you?

tw r-word, ableism

[pillz]

yeah i regret not getting my ass back 2 the meadows before my retired nemesis & his gigantic boyfriend went full retard into jeopardy

does that count

[photophobic]

You're welcome.