[IC CONTACT]

[photophobic]

You should know where to find me.
But if you leave a message here, I will see it.

Comments

[photophobic]

This is the life I want to protect. The existence that matters to me.
Staying here. If we haven't lost anyone to the City, going there is foolishness.

[pillz]

[kavinsky shouldn't say anything. he should leave it at that.]

maybe.

[kylo might not be wrong.]

but i tihnk as long as theres a > there 2 go back to, theres a risk we'd b pulled again

[photophobic]

I see.

When the Fates invited us to doom either our own reality or some unknown other, or accept the alternative of a continuous state of "instability" for ourselves. Which did you choose.

Out of curiosity.

[pillz]

why

what did u pick

[photophobic]

Because I want to know what you want, Joseph.

You already know what I chose. I'm not afraid to pay whatever price to preserve what matters to me.

[pillz]

[fair enough.]

i bet on the horse that won
4 similar reasons
not taht i give zero fucks about u & ya boy & everyone else here but i got a lot of priorities 2 balance
or i did

[photophobic]

Did?

[pillz]

did

[photophobic]

You don't owe me an explanation. But I am curious.

[pillz]

[there's a little pause.]

the kid i was datings still out tehre somewhere
probably. either that or hes dead
odds are a billion to 1 taht the goddesses would fuck wit his
but i dont like those odds

[photophobic]

[Oh.
Well. Yes, that would have changed his decision, too.
There's another little pause to match while Kylo thinks about the other Murphy, whose existence bars Kavinsky's from returning.

Then:]
I only spoke with him once. But I can see it. Why he would have been worth the risk.

[pillz]

[that brings pause.]

u did?

[he had not known that. evidently.]

[photophobic]

I wasn't quite myself at the time.

[Does Kavinsky remember Kylo's brief elevation to godhood? Kylo knows it made quite the impression on Ronan, but...]

[pillz]

[is that somehow different from kylo ren's persistent self-equation to godhood? repeat trauma has strange effects on a person.]

did u hurt him

[a pall across the internet.]

[photophobic]

[A reasonable assumption, but:]

No. I invited him to my concert, he accused me of running a cult. Which I won't hold against him, as I was.

[pillz]

ok.

[the pall rises off the internet. it's cool.]

u liked him huh
he had his lil weasel charms

[photophobic]

Irreverent, casual defiance. A refusal to flinch that those who have never known living in the shadow of disaster would dismiss as fearlessness. Yes. I liked him.

[pillz]

[pall is replaced by thaw, slight but unmistakable.]

yeah. me too.
probably should have done more about it when he wuz here

[photophobic]

[Huh.]

I thought you had. Done something about it.

[pillz]

yeah sure. i mean like
i dunno

[fss]

get gay married or some gay shit

[photophobic]

[Oh.
Kylo's just going to... look at that, for a while. Think about what that could have meant, for a boy who wrote the word thief into his skin, that public declaration of commitment. Choice. You, above all other things.
And from what he knows of Murphy's story, what that could have meant for him, too.

Then, before he has a chance to get caught on his disappointment that his chosen one adheres to a religion that considers the two of them disqualified from such things:]

Like Apollo and Midnighter. The one from his reality.

That's what it was, for you.

[pillz]

[one of those obscure and bittersweet moments that one realizes how long it's been since he talked to anyone about murphy. whether because of lack of reason or opportunity. interest. on both sides, really. giving up your heart does all kinds of things to you.]

giving me too much credit, kyle
i mean thanks i appreciate it but
it's more like: > that's what it could of been.
but u heard too eh? aunt polly & nighter r moving in, finally

[photophobic]

Yes.

It seems they've decided they recognise enough of the person they loved in each other.

[Just. Saying.
Prompting.
He probably shouldn't.]

[pillz]

[otoh the downside of tricking kavinsky into a modicum of human vulnerability is]

if you him to stop fucking your boyfriend you could just tell him, kyle
sellin a kid into a second rate marriage could b seen as a dick move

[he's not actually a nice person.]

[photophobic]

If I wanted to get rid of him, Joseph, I wouldn't hesitate.

[And he definitely wouldn't bother trying to manipulate him out of the picture.]

My mother's the strategist. The politician. Not me.