photophobic | [IC CONTACT]

[IC CONTACT]

You should know where to find me.
But if you leave a message here, I will see it.

[Kylo's previous experience of care, of course, was a little different— the people who professed to care about him had sent him away, attempted to kill him, then abandoned him to the dark.

He does know that isn't normal, though. No. What's normal is some strangely performative declaration of care, usually followed by nothing of useful substance or action. Being there for someone, for whatever benefit that's supposed to be.]

I'm reliably informed the standard, for people you care about, is to tell them you're "there if they ever need to talk". More of a demand for acknowledgement or inclusion disguised as an offer of comfort than your chosen method of staging a highly dangerous inter-dimensional rescue attempt.

Okay, good point.

[ That standard doesn't quite do it justice, Kylo's right. Apollo hesitates, thumbs poised thoughtfully over his comms device. He remembers Ben Solo, he remembers the little capsules of sunlight. He remembers the missed opportunities to save each other, back in the City, and the fact that Kylo's little black book had probably saved Apollo in this world too. ]

'That's what you do for family' then.

[A substantial pause follows while Kylo struggles with his reaction to that.

He's back on Starkiller base, thrusting his blade clean through his father's chest. As hate fails to materialise. As his father reaches, with the very last of what he has, for his son. And at the same time, he's staring at the words on the screen, thinking that none of that would have happened, if Han had been that kind of father from the beginning. The one who never would have given him up.

Why couldn't his family do this? It seems so... so easy, for Apollo. For the others here in this reality who have chosen to care for him. Why couldn't his mother? His father?

He types:]

That's what family should be like. Yes.

I think so.

You remember all of what happened back in the City, right?

[He does. Even if a sizable portion of him wishes he didn't.]

I have his memories. Yes.

How different do you think he was? To who you are here, I mean?

How much do you think who you are is dependent on your experiences.

I've asked myself that so many times over the years, after meeting Apollos from different Earths. Different conditions, different experiences. But still the same person, deep down. Just driven one direction or another by circumstance.

So what do you think?