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[Kylo's head tilts, just a fraction, in acknowledgement. He could very well not have answered the summons, it's true. Dameron doesn't have any hold over him. But he was and still is curious, and curiosity is another matter entirely.]

Ronan?

[The question is redundant. Of course Ronan. But somehow, Kylo hadn't been expecting anyone to ask after him.]

It took some time. But he's recovered.

[ He doesn't bother to confirm. Of course Ronan. Who else would he be talking about?

Who else did Poe even think Kylo cared to keep the status on?

He curls his fingers at his sides to keep them from fidgeting and nods. ]

Good. I wasn't - I didn't know it would go down like that. I wouldn't have pushed for him to come, if I had.

[ They could have found another way. Somehow. Maybe.

He took a breath and looked off down the beach. ]

... Anyway.

[ There's a long pause, and then a significant amount of resistance before he says: ]

I owe you one.

Both of you.

[Yet more words Kylo hadn't expected. He listens, silent, his dark eyes scanning Poe's face as if at least part of him believes he might find an explanation written there.

Or hidden behind it. But Kylo doesn't reach for Dameron's thoughts.

In the end, it's the last addition that has his eyebrows raising slightly. Acknowledging Ronan's gifts poured out for them is only right— he risked his existence and spent a part of himself on the endeavour, and even Dameron knows that. But including Kylo in his gratitude?]

This is our home. [ ...and that is more of an explanation than he'd intended to give. But's he's started, now. The words come easier as he continues: ] And it was within our power. To fight. To keep it from being taken from us. I knew what I was doing when I asked him to help me. Just as I knew what I was doing when I invited you.

[ It is nothing short of a miracle that Poe manages to bite back the words, "Yeah, well, you've been happy to burn down your home before". It's an automatic response but not one he wants to give. He's trying - trying extremely hard - to deal with this as neutrally as possible.

The 'as possible' is pretty telling, given that the man did literally torture him, but.

He's still making an effort.

As, apparently, is Kylo. That's probably the clearest that Kylo has ever spoken to him. A straight answer, for once in his life. And even more than that, one that Poe gets. ]

Yeah. This is our home.

[ He says it in such a way that it's clear he's not so sure that's a good thing, but it is a thing that is. ]

But there are plenty of people who even then wouldn't do shit, let alone - you know. Going a little further than a truce, there, so.

[ His brows knotted a little and his eyes met Kylo's, his lips thinning into a firm line. ]

Just so we're clear: I'm never going to forgive you, for what happened back in our galaxy. And I don't think you even care if I do.

But I know the score here. And I know what I owe. So you should, too.

[Happy and home are two words Kylo would certainly disagree with. As far as he's concerned, this is the only one he's ever really had... and he hadn't really meant to include anyone but Ronan in the collective pronoun. Our, he'd thought, was obviously only meant to cover himself and his chosen— and home is so much more than a label to put on wherever they find themselves staying. Home is a word like love— used far too frequently and cheaply by most, in Kylo's opinion. Home is a sanctuary. A welcome. A belonging. It isn't something that has to be endured.

But in his way, and to his understanding, Dameron isn't wrong. This planet is where they live, all of them. And while he certainly hadn't risked his existence for Poe and his network of friends, Kylo hadn't chosen to act out of pure self-interest. Padmé comes to mind first— his grandmother, long dead before he was born. His mother, still reeling from the loss of her obliterated planet. He'd wanted her fears put to rest.

Not that he'll bother telling Dameron that. What would it matter?]

I told you before. There is no truce holding me back— there are no sides, here. Not for me. No allegiances. None of it has any relevance to this world, to this existence.

[His gaze slips from Poe's face, over the dark stretch of the ocean beyond.]

None of it belongs here. What use would either of us have for forgiveness or apology, for what we did. For what was done to us. It would change nothing.
We have this life. Here. And we choose what we do with it.

[Kylo's attention slides back into focus. Dameron, so tightly-wound and determined. He watches his taut expression for a moment, fascinated by all the muscles under his skin pulling and tugging as if competing for control over the shape of the face he'll present to his enemy.

Or whatever Kylo is to him, now.]

I did what I chose to do. You owe me nothing.

Edited (i guess i forgot that "wherever" is a word) 2019-09-05 05:27 (UTC)

Yeah there's saying that and then living up to it. [ For all Poe's talk of there being no sides, he sure as hell kept considering people as being on them. Even now. ]

We have this life but it doesn't erase what happened there. [ He let out a hard breath, and turned his head. ] Just like that life doesn't erase what's happened here.

[ He stepped back onto the carpet, and it raised a few inches. ]

Yeah, that's not how it works. Doesn't matter if you think I owe you, I still do. You and Ronan both. And I'll pay it back.

That's all I wanted to say.

Edited 2019-09-06 01:18 (UTC)

[Kylo examines Poe's face thoughtfully, turning the puzzle over in his mind. Why, every time they meet like this, is Dameron so determined to turn Kylo's actions into a bargain— even when he knows, as he must do, that he has nothing to offer him? What does he gain from deciding himself obligated...

And he laughs, suddenly. A short, sharp laugh.]

I see it. I see it, finally.

[His lips twist.]

This is how you prove yourself better than me. Isn't it. This is how you continue to believe yourself the hero and me, your villain. You can't accept that I might simply have chosen to save us, and this... this is how you intend to keep me in my place. Empty promises of payment you know you can't fulfil.

Is it so difficult? Knowing yourself at my mercy, and finding it far, far deeper than you could ever have imagined? Than you experienced? Am I not what you thought I was?

[ Poe stared at him for all of four seconds and then rolled his eyes nearly out of his skull. ]

No, it's called having principles. [ He said, before returning his gaze to glare at Kylo, unable to keep his frustration at bay. ]

People deserve to be rewarded for the good things they do, because the universe at large sure as hell isn't going to reward them. For my friends that's easy.

But you and me? We're not friends. We're never going to be friends. And it has nothing to do with heroes in this place and everything to do with the fact that whether you want to consider it or not, I'm still going to remember everything that happened.

But that doesn't change the fact that you did something good. And it doesn't change the fact that you deserve something to acknowledge that. And maybe when you figure out just how important those actions are, you'll figure out that I fucking mean it when I say I owe you.

I don't have to tell my friends because they know. And they know I'll pay it back, always. But if you really want to make this into some kind of pseudo-psychology bullshit, be my guest. It really isn't that complicated.

[ But he was seriously getting frustrated, now, so he let the carpet rise a few more feet. ]

We done?

[Are they done?

Dameron was the one who invited him here, apparently to inform him he's earned a special treat for being good, and supposedly that's what it means to have principles. If you're Poe Dameron.

Kylo blinks up at him, irritable with mild confusion and the sense he's being patronised.]

You can call it whatever you like. I did something I wanted to, something I knew was necessary, and I made use of the resources at my disposal. Do you think it matters to me whether or not you think I've been good? Am I supposed to be grateful for your approval? Or is it the prize of some vague, unspecified favour from you that's supposed to be enough of a reward to condition my behaviour.

[His chin tips up a fraction further. His eyes narrow. Dameron's likely the delivery of one last parting shot and an irritable curse under his breath away from shooting off into the night on his flying rug, so Kylo gives him this to take with him:]

Why did you ask me here, Dameron? You know you have nothing of value to give me in payment even if I required it of you.

I don't know.

[ He snaps it too fast, something he didn't mean to admit, his power working against him again. He wants to bite through his own arm in frustration but he doesn't. He also doesn't fly away. Because he did feel like he needed to be here, to have this conversation, he just has yet to understand why he felt compelled or what it even was he felt compelled to do. But fine. He's already halfway admitted as much. ]

I don't know why I'm trying, okay? It's not about - just forget the favour, then, forget I said anything and I'll just repay it when I find the chance. You obviously don't get the entire concept and I'm done trying to explain it.

The point was that we needed to talk about it, didn't we? Or were we just supposed to - to do that, to work together, to achieve something, and then to pretend it never happened?

[Kylo frowns. Because Dameron doesn't know why he's here. There's no plan or agenda. There is something, some kind of question he doesn't even recognise tying him in place, keeping their eyes locked— but it's like being expected to understand a foreign language.

Which it is, in many ways. Another person's experiences always are.]

The rest of this miserable planet seems to be content to pretend nothing ever happens. [He complains flatly. It's something to say. And then:] You did something to me. Up there.

Yeah, well, the rest of the planet wasn't there. And I'd rather them think that nothing happened than for them to have witnessed the planet blow up. So we still won.

[ He paused, wondering for a second if Kylo meant that he'd poisoned him or something, so unable to consider that Kylo meant something good that he was scrambling to think of something he'd done that was bad. But after a moment he recalled it. ]

You mean the spark? [ He frowned. ] Yeah, sorry. Usually I prefer to ask, but you looked like you needed it.

It's one of my powers. The newest one. Because everyone else can blow up things and set people on fire, so why bother giving Dameron something useful. [ He hadn't meant to complain about that, either, and he bit his cheek to stop himself. ]

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