[IC CONTACT]

[photophobic]

You should know where to find me.
But if you leave a message here, I will see it.

Comments

[pillz]

takes a liar to know one, kylo ren.

no
he said it wasnt much

[photophobic]

I don't lie.

[pillz]

incredible. pretty sure that's lynch's line too

you don't get credit for lyin to yourself oto, kylo 'if he came back and forgot me i'd kidnap his pale irish ass' ren
everyobdy lies

[photophobic]

Kidnapping is more your style than mine. Isn't it.

You asked me if I would accept it, if he came back without the memory of our commitment and chose someone else. If I could accept the existence of a Ronan Lynch who had forgotten he was mine. Who didn't remember that I promised never to give him up to anyone or anything. Never to let him be without me.

And I told you, no. That I would take him. Not steal him. I would win him back. He chose me before. He would choose me again.

[pillz]

you dont get to have it both fuckin ways, ren
you don't get to have absolute certainty and the freedom of choice
anything that's real can end
its why god is forever
and lynch just took ihs fuckin ending a little bit closer because you was asleep at the fuckin wheel

[photophobic]

[Well would you look at that, Kylo Ren found faith. Or, he doesn't know how to do anything but spend every last piece of himself on an inherently futile endeavour when he can't accept the alternative.]

You asked me if I would accept it. If I could deal. I gave you my answer. We can debate the nature of the infinite some time when you aren't blaming me for Ronan's decision to value the lives of strangers over a fraction of the life he promised to me.

He bought ten lives with two seconds of his existence.

[And Kylo hasn't forgiven him for it.]

1/2

[pillz]

[:(a]

2/2

[pillz]

really

[photophobic]

Did he lose less of himself while I was asleep at the wheel than you imagined?

[pillz]

[the silence lasts a little while, which might mean-- anything.]

if it makes you feel better, you still fucked up.

[photophobic]

I'll be sure to remember not to let him out of my sight next time we decide to search for you in a timeless storm at the end of the world.

[Oh, he's going to.]

Even for a second.

[pillz]

[to kylo ren's credit, that hadn't been an option. the sand had been disorienting, to say the least.]

where you fucked up, asslord, was leaving the meadows at all.
when you have something like that,y ou dont roll the fuckin dice with it
you dont let soembody believe his best fuckin option is a couple of expendable moments without you
or without him
or to go into a storm to face a power that got him killed last time
you dont waste a second, and you dont fuck with danger that might make it the last
you screwed up, ren. and maybe you're lucky you both around to catfight about it like old queens and try again, but it doesn't change the fact you did.

[photophobic]

I know exactly what I did.

You haven't grasped it, have you? What it is, the something that we have. The promise. It isn't to protect him from pain. There is always pain. If he truly wants something. Anything. Even if it's to risk his life. I won't forbid it. I never swore I would spare him from facing danger. Only facing it alone.

[pillz]

yeah.
and you 2 ended up split by a magic storm
he gave away 2 seconds of his life
so i guess you guys sure did
> face that together
boyfriend of the year, congratulations

1/2

[photophobic]

I don't control his choices. Or the weather. He chose to make the decision without me.

2/2

[photophobic]

And now we will face the consequences together.

[pillz]

if u don't see how you fucked up then you dont deserve him

[photophobic]

Then I'm fortunate. Aren't I. That you don't control his choices either.

[pillz]

yeah you are.
congratu fucking lations x2
winner winner

[photophobic]

I'm just curious why you are angry with me because Ronan wasn't willing to accept a world without you in it.

[pillz]

wat the fuck are you talking about ren
i dont need 2 borrow more shit to be pissed off about where u concerned

[photophobic]

Really. Have I treated you so badly?

[pillz]

sure.
i ahve never been so offended in my entire goddamn life

[photophobic]

That sounds like an accomplishment.
And a lie.

But you really are impossible to understand over text.

[pillz]

i fucking told u everything oyu need to know
dont fuck that up again

['or what' is a valid question. really, where did kavinsky even think he could go with this? he's yelling at his own reflection in a twisted mirror.]